Omak, Washington

Have you ever been to Omak, Washington? I have.. My mother was raised in Tonasket, WA., just a few miles northeast of Omak and my father was raised a bit to the southwest of Omak in Entiat, WA.
Omak has a population of 4,755.. Omak is the home to the very controversial "Omak Stampede and Suicide Race" The Stampede is basically a rodeo and the suicide race is just that.. a suicide race.. Since 1935 A bunch of crazy people get on horses, ride straight down the hillside, into and across the river.. up the other side and finally into the rodeo arena.
I spent almost every summer growing up in that part of Washington and yet last year, was the first time I'd ever seen the Suicide Race.. It wasn't much to see and really it was hard to watch the horses struggle.. anyway, enough of that..

I decided to write this blog because a good friend of mine, Cheryl, had to go to Omak for work. She works for the STD Clinic at Harborview and travels all around Washington State trying to make the world safe, one STD at a time! ROFL!
Cheryl is a very girlie, girl.. She has lived many places including Italy and Utah (LOL).. She was a military brat.. When she found herself in Omak, WA. she sent an e-mail to all her friends.. Here is the e-mail... I think it's the funniest thing I have read in a LONG time!
Enjoy!


"Hello Everyone:

Yes I am on the road again. I am now in beautiful Omak, Washington. You might ask where Omak is. Well this is a question I asked myself. It is in the middle of nowhere! Nowhere being the Northeastern part of Washington. What do I know about Omak? It looks a lot like Utah. I was told by the man that sold me my skirt at Brooks Brothers (I was stimulating the economy along with my new bike purchase, boxing gloves and knee and elbow pads, for skating people) that they have great beer and they have the Stampede here too.
Food, meaning restaurants in Omak it is slim pickings’. I asked the front desk clerk where she recommended and a man cut in and said there is only one place to eat in town that is any good and it is closed on Mondays. So I ventured off to the restaurant within walking distance “The Kola Grill”. It is a blue hair restaurant and I have been accused at eating at blue hair hours. Lord what a menu I finally decided on the ham steak (the seniors portion : ) ) which came with mashed potatoes gravy and fruit cocktail. I subbed the fruit cocktail for veggies instead. I told the waitress that I did not want any gravy on my potatoes and she replied "are you sure they are potatoes buds" and I said, "you are right make that a baked potato instead". Should a restaurant serve reconstituted food? This I would expect in a cafeteria but not a restaurant. I was hoping for a good beer as my Brooks Brothers salesmen told me but it was the same old stuff so I went for an ice tea (save the calories) which I was told was fresh brewed, it was instant. I heard the man in the next table ask about the house wine and he was told it was boxed wine : )! I would not recommend this restaurant unless you are looking for old nostalgia of high school cafeteria food. I think tomorrow I will have Safeway Chinese."

"I am late for church and don't want to go to hell."

"Why were you speeding?"

- "I didn't know I was, because my lights are off."

- "I'm taking my friend to the hospital. He has alcohol poisoning." (The driver was drunk, too).

- After crashing: "I put supreme gas in the car, which caused me to lose control." (He, too, was found to be drunk.)

- "Don't I get a couple over when I am taking my grandkids to the airport?"

- "I get 10 extra in the fast lane."

- "My speedometer is broken."

- "Gas pedal got stuck."

- "I'm trying to catch that UFO. Can you try to catch it for me?"

- "I had a bee in the car."

- "I am late for church and don't want to go to hell."

- "I have been drinking and want to get off the road quickly."

- "I'm going to a divorce proceeding and if you met her, sir, you would understand why I am hurrying."

- "I am wearing really heavy shoes today and they make the gas pedal go down more."

- "I just got my license back from it being suspended and I am not used to driving."

- "My doctor gave me the wrong meds."