"I am late for church and don't want to go to hell."

"Why were you speeding?"

- "I didn't know I was, because my lights are off."

- "I'm taking my friend to the hospital. He has alcohol poisoning." (The driver was drunk, too).

- After crashing: "I put supreme gas in the car, which caused me to lose control." (He, too, was found to be drunk.)

- "Don't I get a couple over when I am taking my grandkids to the airport?"

- "I get 10 extra in the fast lane."

- "My speedometer is broken."

- "Gas pedal got stuck."

- "I'm trying to catch that UFO. Can you try to catch it for me?"

- "I had a bee in the car."

- "I am late for church and don't want to go to hell."

- "I have been drinking and want to get off the road quickly."

- "I'm going to a divorce proceeding and if you met her, sir, you would understand why I am hurrying."

- "I am wearing really heavy shoes today and they make the gas pedal go down more."

- "I just got my license back from it being suspended and I am not used to driving."

- "My doctor gave me the wrong meds."